Relationship Therapy in San Francisco
Having struggles in one’s relationships is nearly universal. Relationships bring up our most powerful emotions, and have complex roots in our childhoods and the models we were given for relationships growing up. People often rely on their primary relationships to meet a good deal of emotional needs, exerting even more complexity and pressure.
Struggles in relationships often manifest in multiple ways at the same time. Struggles with bosses can often mirror struggles with spouses, for example. I am trained to get to the root of my patients’ struggles in relationships to everyone in their lives, whether it be their partners, family members, coworkers, bosses or children. I am trained to see patterns in relationships and trace their patterns to thoughts and feelings that are often out of awareness, and often stem from early in their lives.
Many patients are surprised to find that patterns in their relationships usually find their way into the relationship with the therapist. This is not only okay, but a positive development, since it then gives the therapist and patient an opportunity to work through these problems “in vivo.” I have explained to my patients at times that therapy is like a safe practice ground for relationships. They take what they learn in their relationship with their therapist and apply it to their other relationships. The therapeutic relationship provides the safe container to they can work out their issues without having to worry about the other person’s feelings or consequences to them in the outside world. This is the main reason that therapy is confidential of course, so that a safe space is created to allow the patient to bring themselves into the relationship.
It is the therapist’s job to allow the patient to fully bring themselves into the work without judgement, and with the mindset that everything that is discussed in the consulting room has meaning that only needs to be understood.
I have tried to distill some complex theories into easily digestible form, but if you have more questions about how the process works, you can call me and potentially schedule an appointment so we can discuss it further.